Life in a desert is difficultIt is hot humid and desolate most of the timesit gets cold at timerains are seldomNowadays there has been a cloud,when it came first, I wondered it is like any other ball of wool in the sky - which vanishes as fast as it appearsthis stayedgave shadesometimes rainedbrought in reliefmaybe it wants to remain herei do not know why it sticks to a barren desertthere is nothing exciting & enchanting like the hills and valleys where clouds playmay be it is determined to change the desert to green.Maybe it will succeed

A tree & a bird - a story

There was this tree on a barren hillock. All gnarled almost old and defeated by age, time & seasons. It was far from the village too.Most of the place was rocky - so there was very little greenery except for a few shrubs that defiantly grew beside it to give it company. Even the leaves on the tree were minimal like the hairs on a bald pate. Few & far between.No one frequented the tree - no children, no squirrels, or any other animals, no birds - not even a bat. The tree was happy by itself. It enjoyed its solitude. It had no choice either. Almost all had deserted it. Infrequently some birds flying long distances would swoop down & settle on its rickety branches. Some stayed for a few days while others for a few moments. They came, they saw, the shared some of their concerns , but ultimately they all flew their way.Then one day, all of a sudden a bird came and settled down on its branches. It was not interested in leaving the tree. The tree thought that this is another tired passerby seeking refuge for a few moments - to depart after a few days.But, as if magic, the bird stuck to the tree. The tree noticed that the one of the wings was broken. the bird started to talk to the tree. The conversation was chirpy - interesting & at times demanding. The tree was indeed confused, but let it be there & listened to all the chatter and enjoyed it. They exchanged experiences. They also found some common ground.Time went by - from a few months to a year and later to two years. In between, the tree had also shooed the bird away. The bird had grown its broken wing - got strength & could fly. It could go far distances, but it always came back. The bird wanted the tree to grow - grow taller - reach out - may be to the sky. Grow green shoots so that the world could come and nestle on it. But nothing like this happened. This was one of the main reasons why the bird & the tree would find difference of opinion & would disagree. The tree was happy by itself and it was in its own world. The bird, as usual, was a high flyer, beautiful, attractive and had many suitors. It wanted to go ahead in life.So, the bird one day said - I wanted you to decide -whether you will grow with me or not? The tree said - I have gone past that age & I am happy & contented the way I am. The bird then said - then I have to leave you -to fly & go to distant lands.I want to see the world & be a part of it. I cannot live in isolation like this. The tree merely listened to this friendly banter. Then it said - you came on your own, you settled by me & now you want to go. I am happy the way things are - when you were not there, when you are here and when you will leave. The choice is yours. To live here or to go - maintaining status quo.The bird thought and said -no I want to fly. I want to see & conquer the world. I want to enjoy life - the way I want. The tree said - OK your wish. It was nice you passed by me - stayed with me and gave me company. I shall remember that always. My past experience and my roots do not allow me to grow & glow. You are still young and free to go. The bird then flew away chirping by. The tree was happy to hear it go in full happiness. It was not the bird that came some years ago - broken , devastated. This was a new bird - full of enthusiasm for life and verve. The tree prayed silently to God that He should keep the bird happy. It saw the bird vanish into a dot at the far end of the horizon as it flew away to newer destinations.Night came & the tree stood by. The moon shown hesitantly, from behind the clouds. The wind also lost steam and quit blowing. Nothing except the sound of few crickets pierced the darkness. The tree waited for another day. Suddenly, there was a sound of flap of wings - they were distant. They came closer and then someone came and sat on its branches. It was the same bird that flew off in the evening. It was tired. It came and sat down. Then the bird just knocked its beak on the trunk checking of the tree had slept. It had not. The bird nuzzled closer to its trunk & said - I am not going anywhere - my life is with you. You gave me the strength so that i can fly high . With you I shall remain.The moon came to life once again shining bright, the stars sprang from behind the clouds & laid a canopy on their head, the wind started whistling a long forgotten tune , & the crickets chirped acknowledging the love of these two different elements. There was no more darkness left.

SHAAM

एक शाम वो भी हुआ करती थी
जब सरे दोस्त मिल के खेल ते थे,
गिर टी हुई और हास त़ी हुई;
इंतज़ार होती थी हर उस शाम की
कब मिले ,और खूब खेले ,
घर लौट टी थी
मम्मी की सो बार बुलाने पर.

और वो भी एक शाम होती थी
जब पढने बैठ ती थी अपने सर के साथ,
वो विज्ञानं और सवाल की दुनिया में खो जाना
और एक नयी मोती ढूंड पाना किताब की हर एक पन्ने पर.

फिर कुछ शाम असीसे भी थे
जब परिन्दों की घर वापस आना और रंगीन बदोलो को
देखते हुई भविष्य के स्वप्नों माय खो जाना
और ऐसे शाम में जीवन से मिलना
कभी कोई कबिता और कभी रजनी घंधा के खुसबू के साथ.

लेकिन हर वोह शाम, अहेसास दिलाती थी मेरी होने की
जीवन एक आज़ादी और कुछ पूरे साँसों के दुसरे नाम
आज काल शाम अति है चुप के से
सन्नाटो में लिपटी एक अहेसास लेकर

एक और शाम गुजारी हु ज़िंदगी की
खुद से जुद्दा होकर और कुछ अधूरी सांस एक साथ.

safar

Courage, confidence, happiness strength ,nobody can bring it into our lives We need to establish it with touch of faith.

 Ek adhoori si zindegi 

Aur khud se ki gaye Kuch Wade puraney se.

 Dhundhali si ek manzil ko chuna chahati huin 

Sath hai kuch apahez umeedein!!!

Bhahut si rahon chal chuke 

Lekin manzil ka phir bhi nishan nahi. 

Rukney lagti huin, 

Aur apni aks se mil jati huin Kisi tanha mode par. 

Phir ek junoon , 

Phir ek safar Dhundhali si us manzil ko chune ki .

Autumn dream

acchanak kuch aisa khayal aa raha tha
ki main koi door—sare sawaal jawab ke ghere se aage
pankh laga ke nikal chhuka huun..tere saath ,Maya
chup ke se kisi ko khabar bhi nehi hai... !

kuch badal ake chune lage the ,
patharon pe payr rakh ke nadi ko paar kar rehi ho
girti samabhalti haansti hui
mera haath thaame

raat karvat lee
aur jaage huey hum, taaron ko dekhtein hai
chaandni se rooh ko bhigo ke.
kuch sookhee patton ki ahat
aur koi awaz nehi
kuch tez saans ke shor ke siwaay

yuun to bahut si raat jaage the hum
tere saath ki gujarish leke
aaj neend na aana kuch khaas hai
aaj tera panha mil jo gaye.

bhor hone laga hai...
lekin raat ka wo sapna
abhi ankhon se gaya nehi..
naa tere Maya, aur na mere!!!

Journey of a River

Many times I found the life is pulling me back. There are many mistakes done by me. The life , relations, society may pointed out my acts and questioned my often. I felt stressed and try to find out the answer of the question where I am lacking. The severe emotion that I have may be pulling me back!

I asked my self “why I am so?”

People have enough strength and control over their life & why I am not like them”. I was upset with the fact. I tried to find out the answer. And, suddenly someone gave me the answer. “you are not like that because you are like a river. Not like any mountain, rock or any other thing”.

And I understand :

The work of the river is to flow , and never to stop. Till it reaches its final destination of the Supreme Soul, and then merges in it forever, losing its own identity. When the river flows, it is full of life. Wherever it flows though, it gives life, spreads greenery & good cheer. Near its banks we find cities and towns – pulsating with life. How much a river helps in building life. You just have to take a dip in it and it cools not just your body but your mind & soul too.

Boats sail on the river. She helps people to reach their destination. But river cannot be like rock all the time with same strength. Hence sometimes she dries up, looses its rhythm, harmony. But again she fills up with water, gains momentum. Starts flowing with the same joy. Yes sometimes she gets angry also. Destroys its bank, forces of her emotion, blow up the materials from its banks and bed. She becomes heavy with the dirt and soils she destroyed. But after some time again she fills up with water and deposits those soils to some other place to make new banks and reduces her own burden.

The river never keeps account of who benefitted from it, who took advantage of it. If she starts to keep an account, then when will she flow? When will its journey be complete? She has some responsibility for herself, which she is bound to complete. Even if she has to suffer in this journey of life, she continues to march forward with her inner strength. Many a people have dumped garbage in her, corpses have floated in it, burdens have increased, yet she precedes smilingly spreading good cheer. She leaves aside the junk and moves forward with her confidence.
It has innate strength to sink a rock too.
God made me like that and for that purpose. And at the end of the day.. I will finish my journey and merge with Sea ( Anant Jeeveevan)

Pratibimb..

भोर हुई तो देखा तुम्हे एक गुलाब की पंखुड़ी की तरह
जब सूरज उगा , रौशनी चितकी,तो लगी तुम सूरजमुखी की तरह
जब शाम ढली तो देखापुर्निमा की चाँद की तरह
तब मैंने सोचा की मैं क्या हूँ?
मैं हूँ जल की तरह
बदन को दूं ठंडक और आत्मा को निर्मल
समां जाऊं सब मैं
नाम भी न रह जाएगा
बहूँ तुम्हारे साथ या तुम्हे ले कर
समां जाओ मुझे मैन्चंद की तरह
दूर आकाश पर रह कर भी
देखोगे तो मिलगा वोह तुम्हे जल मैं

His wishes

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Unwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
From William Butler Yeats' poem - He wishes for cloths of heaven

last wish..

If I know that I am going to die

And take a moment to say your goodbyes.

I would like to tell you about all

Remember to respond when your heart calls.

Do Fall in love, each time it comes,

Being happy is the essence, not lonesome,

I am greatful whatever i got,

Love, light, fragrance, I can name a lot.

Pain was mine , it was not bcoz you, i got  hurt,

Life is joy where  griefs small part.

If God comes to grant me a wish,

A new life to make my dream to accomplish.

I will ask for a wing to fly

Let the world serves as my home and road be the sky.

with a bare soul and a beautiful mind

Yes, it is the peace I want to find.

AHALAYA

If you want to discover something in this wreck, you will probably find some stones. At any point in time, that might be me! If you can collect all the pieces and join them to form a shape, you will get the face of Ahalaya (from Ramayan), a woman who is cursed by her own faults. Who will bring life to the stoned cadaver? He (Ram) will undoubtedly come one day. 

incarnation

kuch khwab ka silsila Der tak mera sath chalta raha kaya badalti rahi ,lekin ruh ek se thi.. Ek khwaish yahi ke mukt ho jaun iss silsile se na koi khwab dastak de iss dil me Inn dardon me main khud kahin kho ke rehe gayi Abb dhundna hai apne app ko lekin kisi aur ke ankhon se nehi.